This picture really represents how my entire summer went. I remember a friend saying to me “Wow the entire summer has gone by” and as I realized it was September, it was very apparent to me that my life really was on fire. My 90 year old mom broke her ankle in two places and after her surgery she required full time assistance. I was happy to be able to make changes to my schedule to be able to help her get back into her home. I was also very aware of my Yoga community and how my students and employers were graceful and patient with my time as I tried to find a balance between her care and my own family.
It was quite a journey for both of us. I learned a lot about myself, my mom and our relationship. It was YOGA at its purest form. I learned so much more “balance” and what “state” my mind was in and how to navigate around these obstacles. Was I tired of making my 20 phone calls to the insurance, had I forgotten to eat because of the 8 hour trip to get her to her doctor’s appointment, was she fearful that she would never be able to go back to her home and exceptionally emotional that day, was my mind on home and how much I miss Kevin and Mabel (our dog). These are known as antarāyāḥs or obstacles, as stated in Yoga Sutra 1.30
1.30 Vyādhi styāna saṁśaya pramādā alasyā avirati bhrāntidarśana ālabdhabhūmikatvā anavasthitatvāni citta-vikṣepāh te antarāyāḥ
Sickness (vyādhi), mental inefficiency (styāna), doubt (saṁśaya), negligence (pramāda), idleness (ālasya), non-abstention –lack of control– (avirati), erroneous perception (bhrānti- darśana), the state of not attaining (alabdha) to any yogic stage (bhūmikatva) (and) unsteadiness –anavasthitatva– (anavasthitatvāni). Those (te) mental (citta) projections (vikṣepāḥ) (are) the obstacles (antarāyāḥ)
Patañjali presents a list of 9 difficulties of life. The list is extremely interesting and includes different sorts of challenges. For example, there are things that happen to us, like illness (vyādhi), mental fatigue (styāna) and lack of energy (ālasya). There are mistakes we make like haste (pramāda) and overindulgence (avirati). Our confusions, like doubt (samśaya) and misperceptions about ourselves (bhrāntidarśana), are also listed as life difficulties. So too are the moments where we don’t attain what we had hoped to (alabdhabhūmikatva) or notice that our capacities have slipped (anavasthitatva), as happens to everyone who ages.
As I find more balance, routine and can finally be home, these antarāyāḥs or obstacles seem less foreboding. As my mom returned to her home, she is also in a better place. She is happy to be home and driving, feeding chickens and having lunch with friends. She has made a full recovery and I can see the joy and the relief as she settled into her own home and her freedom again. She has learned to adapt to her healed ankle and that makes me happy. When I asked her how she was getting to the chickens she replied “ I put their feed and water in the basket of that rolling chair (rollinator) that you got me and I go out the front porch, where its level, I can do this” she tells me. I want her fierceness when I turn 90, in fact I wish it to everyone!!
While my entire summer was one fire, I would not trade it for the world. I gained a new understanding of my mom, our relationship and how to interact with her.
Be well. Be Safe.
Love. Light.
JennyO
Corazón Yoga 