Holi, the festival of colors, always reminds me of the upcoming Spring season. It signifies the end of Winter when things are dark and heavy, it leads us to light and new paths for growth as Spring approaches. It is marked in Ayurveda by the junction of Shishira (winter) and Vasanta (spring) seasons. These 15 days between seasons is a way to get our digestion, which is strong during winter, to spring and summer, where our digestion runs a little less strong. Spring delivers the qualities of Kapha dosa which can lead to nasal allergies, respiratory disorders and weak digestion. So as we move into Spring, think of things that might ignite your digestive fire. Warm water in the morning, a LITTLE bit of heat like peppers or black pepper and less things like yogurt, cheese and ice cream which can slow down your agni (digestion).
Holi is celebrated by the Homa, the burning of a ritual fire. I encourage you all to create your own Ritual Fire by inviting in the directions. Ignite your own fire symbolically or literally. Be in your backyard with feet in the earth, who cares what your neighbors think, in these times we can all use LIGHT.
You can hold a candle in your hand during this ritual. Face East: Imagine a Goddess in Yellow, with Air /Vayu as its element
Face South: Imagine a Goddess in Red, with Fire/Agni as its element
Face West: Imagine a Goddess in Blue, with Water/Apo as its element
Face North: Imagine a Goddess in Green, with Earth/Prthvi as its element
As you face each direction think or chant Om Shantis, Shantis, Shantihi (Om peace, peace, peace).
I am so excited to have completed my Ayurvedic Health Counselors program!! I mentioned before that I had been studying with my teacher Elizabeth for some time, 5 plus years and decided to put all that information to use and make it “official”. I present to you my certificate of completion.
Many of you do not know that I am making Ayurveda a part of my studies, but I am happy to have a wider lens in assisting my clients heal and find balance. I am also so excited to bring this deeper training to you all. I have a little over a year to complete my Practitioner program. It’s a deeper way to study as we are studying from the classical Ayurvedic Texts and it feels more like a philosophical way to study Ayurveda and its healing potential. I will be offering more of these sessions to you all and incorporating it into my Yoga Therapy work addressing Trauma.
I think of Ayurveda much like this picture that I took in India a few years ago when I was Studying in Chennai at KYM. India is filled with Ayurveda, it is a way of life and taught from a very early age to all. Ayurveda for me is very much like this stack of leaves. Individually they are light, very one dimensional and can be easily moved by the elements (Mahabhutas) and qualities (Gunas). Together they become something heavier, three dimensional and harder to move. Such is with Ayurveda, it is all about the individual and how the elements affect that individual. Think macro and micro and how you as an Individual might reside in that idea. This is Ayurveda.
I hope you are celebrating in whatever way makes you Happy!! As you can see we are super excited about Christmas at our house, we have a brand new ball to show for it…
I know that sometimes the holidays can be stressful and bring up feelings for us. Whether you love or not so much love your family, these gatherings can bring about some emotions. There are rituals in place that have been there for many years. But it is ok to begin your own rituals, in whatever way makes sense for you. We have had a lot of change in our lives over the past two years, nothing is “ normal” anymore. So go out and find what makes sense to you and yours. Keep traditions, change them just a bit, include more or less folks around you.
Know that if you are happy those around you are happy, so do what suits you. I used to worry about not being able to be “ home” during the holiday season, years of working retail jobs. Now that I am older and have my own home I travel to see family and friends after the New Year. Less stress, no one has to “ fit” me into their schedules and everyone is a little more relaxed. We often put so much on ourselves to make it all “ right”. But as long as your intentions are good and boundaries are in place, you will be ok. It is all change and we all struggle with it, just ensure the change suits you!!
Welcome to Spring! I hope that you have all made it through the Snowpocalypse and are enjoying this new found spring weather. As we continue moving through the Klesa’s I come to Dvesa which is Aversions.When we are controlled by strong desires, we will also develop strong aversions when those desires are not fulfilled, they are essentially two sides of the same coin.
I come to Dvesa because I have been struggling with this myself. The day before snowmageddon landed, I was hit by someone who ran a red light. I was pushed through the intersection, flipped, landed on the passengers side and hung from my seat belt until I managed to get myself out of the seatbelt, it did it’s job very well. Someone busted through the back hatch and guided me out. Both doors were smashed in and could not opened. By the grace of all that is good and kind, God, Buddha, whoever you pray to, I walked away with no cuts, bruises, or anything broken.
In the days and weeks following the accident I find myself having an aversion to being in the car, that leads to a strong desire to just stay inside my home, which leads to anxiety because things are not “getting done” I mean really, what should I be doing besides healing? Which leads to being awake at 3am, and having strong aversions to things that “need to be done”. I imagine the tasks becoming bigger and bigger. Not based in actual fact, but through the idea of aversions, Dvesa.
Through the help of my teacher, yes, I practice what I preach 🙂 and friends, I am finally able to make my way through Dvesa. The tasks became smaller, all I had to do was step in that direction and it became clear to me that it was in fact an aversion going unchecked becoming bigger and bigger and bigger. Dvesa, is smaller, Fear is smaller, and things are moving into a direction of balance.
Through these experiences I gain insight. Through insight I gain knowledge, so after 20 plus years of this, I am getting the hang of it 🙂 We can often be our own worst enemy. We need someone to help clean and clear our lens. Because I know and believe this so much, I am available for yoga therapy sessions, private classes and mentoring to help through these type situations. I have many tools in my toolbox and years of experience.
Curious? To learn more check out my website. corazonyoga.com
As we continue our journey through the Klesa’s I think about Abhinidvesa = Fear. This picture reminds a lot about fear, fear that I am still making my way through. When my teaching and financial world fell through, it brought back a LOT of fear. What was I going to do, how was I going to find work. When I allowed my practice to take center stage, I was able to finally change the lens on my patterns and see that as Yoga went away, my job as a Yoga Therapist had not. I still had work at the hospital as a yoga therapist, and guess what there were more hours available to me.
But I had to change my perspective, I had to change my “lens”. I was fortunate to have a wonderful friend that lives in Lake Charles, I joined her on a trip to New Orleans. There I had a change in perspective. As I walked with her through her familiar places and felt the comfort of her words and the random “I love you” from her son, the fear began to leave. I remember running across these bracelets in this charming little store. One says: This too shall pass” the second one says” The best is yet to come.
I remember the moment I put the first one on my wrist, as my dear friend helped me with the clasp. I remember feeling less afraid. This simple act shifted my lens. Well done you say!
HMMM… not so fast. After yoga collapsed, the world was hit by Corona, again more fear, ah, but this time I knew how to deal. I found work, I reconnected with students who were going through the same thing I had just gone through. Work picked up, online teaching started, virtual teacher training, screening shifts, yoga jobs came back. I was making it!! It was different, but I was making it. And Fear raised its head again. I couldn’t bring myself to take off the first bracelet. Even though I knew/know that “the best is still to come” I felt comfortable where I was. So you see, even the idea of succeeding brought in Fear.
Abhinidvesa comes in all forms. Fear of succeeding, Fear of not succeeding, Fear of being great, Fear of not being great, Fear of becoming someone we always wanted to be, Fear of staying who we are. We have to change our Lens/Perspective our Patterns/Sankalpa’s. And nothing does that better than a practice designed especially for us. This is why I am extending the discounts on my website until the end of February.
To help you establish this idea of who you are, to not let Fear in, to truly know yourself.
Practice this So Hum meditation. It’s simple and can be done for as little as 3 minutes or as long as 30 minutes if you like.
The yogic mantra “so hum” is not only a reflection of the sound of the breath but also carries a contemplative meaning: “I am that” (so = “I am” and hum = “that”).
How To Practice “So Hum” Meditation
Step 1 Find a comfortable place for meditation. Place your palms facing up in jnana mudra (forefinger and thumb touching) with your palms facing up to open your awareness or facing down to calm the mind. Scan your body and release any tension.Step 2 Bring your attention to your breath, feeling the rise and fall of your inhalation and exhalation. As your focus settles on your breath, begin to chant the mantra “so hum.” As you inhale, silently say “so” to yourself and as you exhale, say “hum.” Once the “so hum” rhythm has been established, begin to contemplate the meaning of “so hum.” As you inhale with the mantra “so,” say to yourself ” I am,” connecting to your essential self.
Step 3 As you exhale with “hum,” inwardly say “that” or “all that is.” Feel how your exhalation releases you into the space around you. Visualize your exhalation leaving your body through your nostrils and then merging back into your true self. Finding that place where you can let fear go by simply acknowledging who you are.
So Mabel (my beloved furry friend) is struggling with Raga, she loves her old Faux Fur so much, yet she has this beautiful one that Santa brought her, she is attached to what used to be a beautiful, whole, Faux Fur that we could play tug of war with. BUt that is gone now, but even when given the opportunity, she often choose the old. What is going to help Mabel, well, the fact that I have thumbs and can throw the old one away, but who is going to help you “throw away your old patterns”?
Klesa’s, these are patterns that cloud our heart with a sort of a fog. There are 5 of them:
Avidya – Ignorance
Asmita – Egoism
Raga – Attachments
Dvesa – Aversions
Abhinidvesa – Fear
Considering the year that we have had, Raga is making a huge appearance for me, attachments to my friends that I cannot see, to the Yoga Community that once was, to all those things that take place in a pandemic. But my practice has been constant with me. As we look to the first of the year, I invite you to look at your Klesa’s. What’s holding you back from finding a practice that embodies YOUR entire body and soul. This is why I want to offer this to you all.
First I want to thank you for supporting me and finding your way along this path with your own practice. Yoga Therapy has helped to shift so much in my own life and I believe we can all benefit from some yoga therapy or a practice or some sort of mentoring.
As I move into the next phase of my grief cycle, I find that I am overcome with Anger. Anger at all thet was and is no more. I know it is a regular cycle of life that things ebb and flow. We die, we are born and we experience life. Anger has never been so prevalent in my life before, although, being human, I am sure with will come again as I experience loss once more.
Anger has kept me from my practice and my own true knowing or Sraddha. What keeps you from your true knowing? After spending 5 days in Nashville with my teachers and a lovely community of yogis, I find myself moving back into my practice. I want to thank my ever patient teachers who welcome me back each time I stray. This is after all Yoga. What we feel, how we process and how we move. No matter how hard it is, its all Yoga. The more we experience, the more we can relate to all those around us. For me as a Yoga Therapist this entire experience of Yoga Yoga falling apart has been a huge learning experience. I did not see it as that in the beginning, there was just too much grief, pain, and now anger.
But I am moving through it with the guidance of those who love me and those who understand and can hold space for me. Its a beautiful thing to be held in space. This is what makes me a better yoga therapist. Its how I can guide you through what you might also be going through. Just like my teachers guide me!!
If you find yourself in a place of anger from grief or loss, come and schedule a session with me. As a Yoga Therapist I can help find that piece of mind for you, get you back to a practice and help you find your true knowing, your Sraddha.
I’m Back!! Yes, I have been gone and dealing with what is known as Life. To put it simply, Life is Difficult, this is what yoga sutra 1.30 tells us “Vyadhi-Styana-Samsaya-Pramada-Alasya-Avirati-Bhrantidarsana-Alabdhabhumikatva-Anavasthitatvani-Cittaviksepah-Te-Antarayah”. Antarāya= obstacles that keep us from moving forward, these bumps in the road that bring our Practice to a screeching halt. I have suffered from this same dis-ease. My Yoga world was rocked the first of July. The place where I got my Yoga chops fell apart. This place where, since 2006 I had taught, laughed, cried and ultimately become who I am now. To put it mildly, my world fell apart. My income was taken to basically zero, but more than that, my trust was shaken to the ground. Attachment came up, self doubt ran rampant. Who would know me outside the walls of Yoga Yoga?? Who would I be now that my community was gone? My practice started to suffer.
As I met with my teacher and cried more than once, I started to come back to my practice and realized that life is indeed hard but as I come through this I realize that all the self doubt, attachments, lack of trust, these were Antarāyas obstacles that kept me from everything that had made me who I am.
I visited the KYM Mandiram this October for two weeks. This is the lineage of my teacher Mr. Bossart. Never have I learned so much as I did in these two weeks. Being a person that is geographically challenged and not traveling very well alone, I cannot believe I even agreed to this! But I am glad that I did. This country is filled with devotion, ritual, sounds and temples. It is also filled with poverty, pollution and a distinct class separation. I felt grateful to be there, on so many levels. Grateful that I was able to afford the trip, to take from my job and to have support at home to be able to be gone for this amount of time. KYM was an oasis in the heat and the noise outside. Being there on the grounds it felt cooler and quieter than any other place in Chennai. I know it must be because of all the Mantra that takes place there and the genuine caring that everyone there shows to their fellow human. I wish I could have know Mr. Desikachar…but even not knowing him, I can imagine him walking the halls and teaching classes there. I am also grateful to my teacher for encouraging me to make this trip. This lineage has opened my eyes to how I teach, how I look at Yoga Therapy and how I work with clients. Will I go back again… I might. Which is a far different answer that I would have given you three days into the trip.
I was in a coffee shop (cafe Creme) on east Oltorf in Austin and saw this picture, it brought to mind my friend Steph. Steph has a peacock feather tattooed on her foot. I started to think about her and how I missed her, she and Cody had moved back to Jersey to be closer to family.
My curiosity for the peacock lead me to some fascinating discoveries: the peacock is a symbol of immortality, the ancients believed that the peacock had flesh that did not decay after death. Early Christian paintings and mosaics use peacock imagery, and peacock feathers can be used during Easter, as a symbol of immortality. The peacock also replaces their feathers annually, so some see the peacock as a symbol of renewal as well.
I remember my grandmother always had peacock feathers around. Growing up on the farm, my mom insisted that we have peacocks, I was fascinated by the feathers! They seemed to be alive, with their vibrant colors and texture of the feathers always felt really comforting in my hands.
My dear Steph, I miss not having you here in Austin with me, but each and every time I see a peacock or peacock feather I will always think of you!!
Corazón Yoga 